The Great Pretender.
Usually when people talk about Aspergers or Autism related stuff, I have no real clue what they are talking about especially when they start on topics that I have either never heard of before or even researched though to be honest there are just many tracks of research you can end up going on. No one within the Autism / Aspergers community has really sat down to explain anything in simple terminology. Sure we have talked about a range of topics though I have not really asked exactly what half the meanings are. The only real people who have explained things beautifully have been Tony Attwood at a chat I went to on the Sunshine Coast with some friends. I thought I would share some thoughts. I tend to walk by the beat of my own drum.
While at work the thought popped into my head that in July I have been invited to attend a radio show and I will likely be talking about things I have no clue about. When I got asked, I had thoughts that I really did not want to give my contact details and I should say no, although a friend in Sydney had already been on the show so I would give it a go. Last time I was asked to be on a radio show was through a group who has a show in Bendigo. I told them I rather be there in person, which is partially the truth. I did visit Bendigo and I think I was lucky not to have my offer accepted as I would have likely gotten myself deliberately lost or turned the sound off on my phone. The thought going through my head would be the usual, yup, yup, I know and Sure. With no clue as to what they were talking to me about. The penguins from Madagascar with their tactic of smiling and waving would work a beauty, while someone like Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons would explain everything. I was glad a person from the same town wasn’t able to meet as I have heard them on the radio before and I was drawing blanks to what they were talking about. Nothing against the person at all, especially as Sir Robin from Monty Python after meeting the knights would explain the situation.
Some guy from Brisbane, one weekend asked me to do a chat through MSN chat with others who are on the spectrum so I did. As soon as I got asked what defines my Aspergers. I was drawing a blank as I had no idea what they were on about nor did I want to ask what they meant. I quickly disconnected from the chat room and I was never asked again to try that experience. What defines aspergers in me? I have no idea as it is not something I actually think about. What am I supposed to think about as I am me? Will I suddenly hang up on the radio person when they ask a hard question that I am unsure about? Will I have to defend some stance within the community where I will respond fingerbuns are the answer to all? Can I get away with saying 42 is the answer? Public speaking is never my thing, but I have set myself a challenge to try something new so will see myself as doing an hour long job after I have worked all day. Will I fall asleep on air, which would be hilarious.
For me I think some people are just over the top as I do not understand what they are talking about when they say some event is not friendly and I really don’t want to ask to explain simply so that anyone can understand. When it involves the term ABA, I really have trouble trying to understand what people mean as it seems to have many different meanings. Applied Behaviour Analysis or whatever its supposed to do. It thought it meant something to do with fitting in with society and learning manners, but that does not seem to be allowable as people should be rude and crude to others. Maybe I am just confused and just tend to observe more. ‘Smile and wave boys!’ Maybe I need to hang around with more people with Aspergers or maybe not. I have no answers to that part.
I probably have just confused people who now have no idea what I am talking about. I joined the AAANetwork to learn though maybe that learning has stalled or I know more than I think I do though when I have met the founders of that page we have not really spoken about Aspergers or Autism Spectrum thingies, but about life and our bikes. The bikes are the coolest things I know about them and I did get some good friends out of it all. I don’t try to push people, but tell them to go with what they think would be right and anything that could be helpful. It does become a little disconcerting when people tell you that you have done so much, when I wonder that I am just lucky to do what I have like travel. I could be like a great pretender who is as clueless about everything as everyone else. I did have the random thought build itself up today at work and I wondered if putting pen to blog it might show that I am in some way honest about having no ideas other than doing what I do already.
Smile and Wave